


Cursed Mistletoe

by D_O



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Gratuitous Swearing, M/M, My Latin Is Amazing, Prank!Snape, crack!AU, so much snogging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:05:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9096478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_O/pseuds/D_O
Summary: Someone Cursed Draco! Oh no! Now the whole school seems to want to jump his bones.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Another pull from dA. The person I wrote it for, Cremebunny, loved it. I did quite a few works for her. Go check her out! Say DO sent ya.

He didn’t know who did it, or why. All he knew was that whomever did, regardless of the reason, was going to pay. Painfully. As soon as Draco Malfoy stepped an immaculately groomed foot outside of the Slytherin commons, a cluster of glossy green leaves and round, white berries appeared overhead. They bobbed and moved in time with the blonde, much to his annoyance. As a silly prank, it would be fine. But it was the holiday season, and anyone who was anyone knew the symbolism behind mistletoe. According to the herblore, and quite alike to the person this cluster was currently following around, mistletoe was toxic to any who partook in it. Draco whipped out his wand and attempted to banish the clump to no avail.

“Damn, when I find out who did this, they’ll pay…” he grumbled to himself, striding off swiftly towards his Head’s office. Perhaps Snape could sort this out.

As it happened, he didn’t reach even half way to Snape’s office before he encountered another student. A fourth-year Slytherin boy with auburn locks that curled around his slender face. Blue-green eyes slid up from Draco’s glaring visage to the mistletoe, where they grew large and round in confused fear. Before Draco could even raise his wand, the year-younger boy pushed him up against the wall and mashed his face up onto his. The blonde sputtered, shoving the body away from him. He wiped at his slobbered mouth with the back of his robe sleeve before snapping off a Petrificus to the momentarily winded boy. 

“Where do you get off even thinking that you could touch me!?” Draco snarled, the boy hapless and befuddled on the floor, and at the older Slytherin’s mercy. 

“You had better hope that I don’t see you again any time soon. Because if I do, I won’t hesitate to end your family line with you!” He growled before turning to leave. 

The rest of the trip to Snape’s office went quietly. Draco encountered nobody else. Two knocks later he was ushered inside with a sardonically raised brow and a quiet, inward wave of a robed arm.

“Sir, some lackwit thought it would be amusing to plague me with this…this…garland. Already I’ve been accosted because of it. I tried to banish it, but it resisted my attempts. Might you do something about it?” Draco asked courteously. Just because Severus was his Godfather by no means gave him rights to be impertinent. 

“I shall try, if only to spare you having to lock lips with a Halfblood, or worse…” He acquiesced. 

To Draco’s credit, he didn’t even flinch when Snape raised his wand and cast. A slight frown appeared on the usually stoic and reserved face. Another spell, and another frown followed. With a disgruntled sigh, Snape turned from banishment charms to investigative ones.

“Specialis Revelio.” Snape chanted, blinking in astonishment at the wide array of enchantments bestowed upon such an insignificant object.

“Mane Cum Humano, Coge ut Oscularetur, Causa Amentiae, Praeveni Exilium, Factorem Rejicit, and Coge Ad Fictor. Quite an interesting combination.” Snape murmured. Draco couldn’t contain his annoyance and he snapped.

“Tell me what it bloody means and how to bloody get rid of it!” 

Snape leveled a cold stare at his star pupil and remained quiet until a small puff of air signified Draco’s regret and apology. They had known each other long enough to detect nuances in simplistic gesters such as a single puff of air. 

“In short, whomever cast this can remove it and none other can. It will incite a compulsion to anyone who comes in range of its effects to…er…kiss you. And once a kiss has been made, that person will become obsessed with you until the effects are negated by you kissing the caster.” Snape recited. He purposefully left out the compulsion to seek out the caster. He doubted his Godson would notice the detail. He turned out to be right when the blonde stood in a flurry of robes that made the Potions professor swell with irrational pride. 

“I’ll find who did this, and I won’t be KISSING them. That’s for DAMN sure!” he muttered darkly then swept out. He didn’t hear the chuckle of the man behind him over the slamming of the door. Snape mentally applauded his acting abilities before settling behind his desk. He kicked his feet up and smirked, a rare and dangerous sight. He was dead tired of Draco bemoaning the Potter boy, when anyone with two eyes and even one ear could see that the young Heir was infatuated. All he needed was a small shove…off a precipice.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco couldn’t avoid people all day. He had classes to attend, cohorts to push around, lower years to bully. Plus, Perfect Potter and his Golden Gryffindorks to harass. He was a very busy man! He had no time to dodge liplocks with random strangers and friends alike. He successfully slipped passed two on his way back to the dorms, but once inside he was accosted by Pansy who promptly shoved him against the commons’ door and snogged him within an inch of his very life! Behind her, some ways away, Blaise sniggered from his perch on the settee. 

“Alright there, Drake? Looks like you have your hands…and mouth…full.” 

With a great heave, she shoved Pansy to the ground and fled the room, tossing Blaise a rude hand gesture as he went. He leaned against the secret passage and bent double, trying to catch his breath. Pansy sure wasn’t a pansy at kissing! Ye Gods, he hoped to never repeat that experience as long as he breathed. He had just got his breathing under control when the Fourthie from not even an hour ago came jogging around the corner. He stopped dead as soon as he saw Draco, eyes slowly glazing over. He took only a single step before Draco turned and ran. Pounding steps behind him told the Slytherin that the chase was on! A distant slam and then click of heels made him swear to the stones in disgust.

“Merlin-mother-fucking-piece-of-shite-buggering-arse-of-a-cunt-stick! LEAVE ME ALONE!” he screamed behind him, dashing up the last of the steps and into the foyer. He hid behind the great glass House Points counter that was partly filled with green gemstones. As soon as an out of breath Pansy and Whomever-The-Hell-That-Kid-Was came into view, he ducked down. They passed on by without noticing him, but the two who had entered the hall at the same time the other two were leaving it, did. 

“Damn it…not you two.” Draco groaned as the Weasley twins made a beeline for the Slytherin Prince, no doubt intent on hazing the lone Snake. 

“No…absolutely not…I forbid you to..to…” Draco cried before he was snatched up by two pairs of strong hands and unceremoniously snogged by identical lips. His head swam, likely with some obscure disease only Blood Traitors could transmit and only Purebloods could catch. It would seem like his luck after today.

“Put him down! He’s mine!” came a female screech.

“Yours!? I HAD HIM FIRST!” an angered reply fired back.

“We have him now, bugger off!” the twins announced in unison. 

It was a tad creepy how they did that, Draco noted once his head cleared from the double snog. He wiggled out of their grasp and took off at a dead sprint. He had no idea where he was going but he was sure he wasn’t going to stick around there! He took the first corridor he came to after ascending four flights of stairs. Winded, he leaned against the stone to catch his breath. It was only then that he noticed a pulling sensation dragging him onwards with insistent mental nudges. He’d be safe if he just went a little further…

“I saw him come down here! Draco! Come back! I LOVE YOU!” yelled Pansy, her nasal voice echoing unpleasantly down the hall.

“She doesn’t love you, I do! MARRY ME!” the fourth year boy cried, sounding further away. Maybe they had lost his trail?

“THERE YOU ARE! You’re OURS!” The twins shouted, coming around the corner, bearing down on Draco in a flat heat.

Draco groaned and turned, his feet and his mind pushing him away from the crazed students. He turned a corner and ran smack into Neville Longbottom.

“Merde!” Draco screamed, watching in horror as the Gryffindor’s eyes glazed over and his body lunge for Draco’s apparently irresistible lips. Draco grimaced as a tongue was introduced, then another pair of lips found his cheek, another on his neck. Hands plucked at his robes and he started to panic. When a hand found his slacks button, he thrashed. With just enough room to raise his wand he yelled the only thing he could to repel so many at once.

“FLIPPENDO!” he cried, not waiting to see the students fly backwards away from him. He turned tail, once again, and ran for his life. Through a corridor, up some 3 sets of stairs, dodging into a hidden passage behind a tapestry, emerging, finally, somewhere on the seventh floor. The urge in his mind eased somewhat now that he was on the top most floor of the main castle, but he still felt vulnerable in the middle of the hall. With a start, he noticed a door materializing before him and without thinking, he lunged for the handle. With a mighty wrench, he yanked it open, toppled inside, and shot a spell behind him.

“Colloportus.” 

“Well, it seems like no place is safe these days.” Came an annoyingly familiar voice. Draco looked up from his perch on the floor and attempted to back away. 

“Don’t you dare! Stay away from me!” Draco cried, covering his mouth with his hand. Harry simply stood from his window seat and stared down at the blonde, nonplussed.

“Don’t I dare what?” Harry asked, not even sure why he was curious. 

“K-kiss me!” Draco gasped from around his fingers.

Harry shot Draco with an incredible look. Then with a snort he turned and resumed his staring out of the window.

“I’ll try to restrain myself.” He muttered sarcastically.

Draco was floored. Potter wasn’t trying to snog his brains out? Or rip his clothes off, as some of his pursuers were? 

“The…the cursed compulsion mistletoe doesn’t affect you?” Draco sputtered, turning red. Something in his mind nagged at his attention but he was so relieved to not have yet another person pinning him to a random surface with their tongue suffocating him to take any real notice.

“I can throw off the Imperius. Do you really think a simple compulsion charm would work on me? Why don’t you just hightail it out of here, Ferret. I’ve no patience for your games today.” Harry growled out, annoyed and somewhat frustrated. 

“Half the bloody school is out there trying to suck my lungs out through my mouth. I’m not too chuffed to let them if the alternative is your grubby presence.” Draco bit out, reaching for the door. He let himself out and only made it halfway to the end of the corridor before his newly formed fanclub came storming around the bend. It was the decided lack of glazed eyes and immediate pouncing from Perfect Potter that drew his mind away from his doom approaching, to the factoid Snape had let slip earlier. The Latin clicked and he swore vehemently under his breath.

“Veela-arse-buggering-harpy-twat-felching-son-of-a-goat-fucker!”

Coge Ad Fictor. A compulsion to return to the creator. The mistletoe was guiding him the entire time to the person who created it. Or at least, the wand that did. Potter didn’t seem to be all that interested in some holiday garland hanging above the Slytherin’s head. The fact that Snape had ignored that incantation, and made no attempt to snog the Slytherin Prince himself told Draco exactly who must have cast the spell, and he must have done it with Potter’s wand. Snape could easily have dosed himself immune to compulsion. Those who mastered potions could brew a draft in their sleep! Draco turned and dashed back up the corridor, his groupies on his heels. With a desperate pull, he tugged the door open before it could disappear again, then slammed it shut, locking it with every locking charm he knew.

“What now, you pure-blooded-prat?” Harry grumbled, glancing over at him.

“Did you lose your wand today?” Draco gasped out, hands on his knees and chest heaving.

Harry frowned. He regarded Draco with dark green eyes, almost the same shade as the mistletoe leaves…

“Yes, I lost it right after Potions yesterday. But it was next to my bed this morning. Why, did you take it?” He asked sarcastically. He blinked in surprise when Draco shook his head rapidly.

“I think Snape did. And he cast this cursed garland with it! He set me up! He even fucking told me what the spells on it did, after spelling it to reveal the enchantments. One of them was Factorem Rejicit. Coupled with Coge Ad Fictum, which he conveniently neglected to explain, and the fact that I was pulled here by compulsion, tells me that it was YOUR wand that did this to me! And only YOU can stop it. The compulsion isn’t working on you because it was YOUR wand that cast it. ” Draco raged. Harry was at a loss. He didn’t understand half of what just came out of Draco’s mouth and seriously considered sending for St. Mungo’s. 

“What?” came his reply, eloquent as ever.

Draco huffed and glared. He wasn’t about to get into a lengthy discussion right this moment about Latin conjugation in regards to spell making. He launched himself off the door and straight at Harry, who had nowhere to back up to since he stood against the wall. Now, Draco had very little experience with pouncing. Or kissing, for that matter, and so he winged it based on his recent encounters. He pinned Harry to the wall by his shoulders, ignoring Potter’s little hiss of pain, and meshed his lips against the brunette’s. Harry let out a muffled and indignant squeak. It was a few moments of gentle movement between their mouths before all tension melted from Harry’s frame. It wasn’t until Harry had attempted to slip some tongue between Draco’s parted lips that the blonde came back to the awareness he had momentarily lost once his lips met Harry’s. He pulled away and glanced up. Sure enough, the mistletoe was gone.

“See? I told you.” He murmured softly, looked back down into dazzled green orbs.

“Told me what?” Harry asked, dazed.

Draco smirked slowly and thought about his reply. It was apparent that the simple kiss had short circuited Harry and he’d have to be as simplistic as possible.

“Snape stole your wand, cast a cursed mistletoe on me that made everyone want to snog me until the compulsion pushed me up here so I could snogged the owner of the wand that cast it and by doing, release the spell.” Draco said easily, as if explaining to a child why they couldn’t go outside to play during a thunderstorm.

“Oh. Okay. Bugger Snape…Can I kiss you again?” Harry mumbled, still not quite all there. It seemed like he was delirious, or just plain intoxicated by the sheer perfection that was Draco’s Lips. Draco suspected heavily that it was the latter. The idea of kissing Potter again sparked some interest in Draco, although he wasn’t quite sure about the ‘Bugger Snape’ sentiment. That didn’t sound the least bit fun.

“You, Gryffindor Golden Boy, Harry Bleeding Potter, actually WANTS to kiss me, Slytherin Prince, Draco Luc-“ the rest of his self-important titles was cut off. Harry had leaned forward to capture his lips again. And it was a long, long while before he rescinded his claim.

~*FINITE*~


End file.
